Crazy Wisdom I: Osho

“After checking into a large motel complex, the evangelist read in his room for several hours, then sauntered over to the bar where he struck up a conversation with the pretty young hat check girl. After she had finished working they shared a few drinks and then retired to his room. But when the evangelist began removing her blouse she seemed to have second thoughts. “Are you sure this is alright?” she asked. “I mean, you are a holy man.”

“My dear, he replied, “it is written in the Bible.”

She took him at his word, and then the two spent a very pleasant night together. The next morning, however, as she was preparing to leave, she said, “You know, I don't remember the part of the Bible you mentioned last night. Could you show it to me?”

In response, the evangelist took the Gideon Bible from the nightstand, opened the cover and pointed to the flyleaf on which someone had inscribed, “The hat check girl screws.”

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But I'm a Spiritual Kinda P-I-M-P

This is Osho. In between philosophical rants and bashing religious institutions, he randomly plants dozens of these dirty jokes in the text of his books. He was a 20^th century Guru not following any particular tradition, but with equal contempt for the majority of them.

“All of your priests are bullshitters, and for centuries they have been bullshitting on you! You are crawling in holy cowdung! It is time to get out of it.”

This is what is called crazy wisdom: the use of bizarre, extreme statements to shake one out of complacency (through anger or shock) and get them to think. It's a bit akin to what we see in Zen Buddhism; a Zen master will often alarm his students to wakefulness by hitting them with a stick or randomly shouting. The purpose? To bring one fully, completely into the present moment, to free from them thoughts of past and future and, through shock, allow them a brief instance of living in the now.

Earlier this week, I picked up an Osho book from a local bookseller, The Goose Is Out, the Guru's ruminations on the Zen Buddhist koan (riddle) in which one must release a goose from inside a glass bottle without harming either one (before you sit too long with this one, I should warn you, koans have no logical answer). I chose this book because Pratima is a follower and has been suggesting I go on an Osho retreat.

The Fleet

Osho is certainly a character: he's “the rich man's guru,” and the man after which (that terrible movie) The Love Guru is modeled. When he was alive, he had a fleet of Rolls Royces as well as enormous following in both the US and elsewhere, and, of course, was so controversial and widely hated that he became extremely well known. In his book, he talks about how Indian journalists tell him to go drown in the Arabian sea (so he doesn't pollute the Indian Ocean), and his commune in America failed after he was kicked out of the country for trying to rig a local election.

Osho, I have heard You say, “Can you find a crazier man than me?”

So what does this Guru want us to know, now that he's shocked us awake?

If I see find this at market, its mine.

1. Existentialism

“There is no other Kingdom of God than this Moment.”

The most prominent theme is this “living in the moment.” The lucky man, he says is one who gets even just a few moments that are truly and totally his own. Enlightenment is freedom from the imprisonment that is the mind and true existence, a moment of which may last an eternity. Life and existence are so joyful that to exist freely in them is better than any promised heaven.

“Life is god- and there is no other god; and worship of life is worship- and there is no other worship.”

2. Be As You Are

“You need not be somebody else to be beautiful... the whole universe is imperfect, and to love this imperfection, rejoice in this imperfection is my whole message.”

Self-improvement, Osho tells us, is hypocrisy. One does not have to change or improve to attain the ultimate spiritual goal, it is already existent within him.

“Wisdom is the explosion of your own consciousness.”

3. Fall in Love with the Universal

“Religion is falling in tune with the Whole, falling in love with the Whole, falling in a togetherness with the Whole”

The Universe is one being, Osho tells us, not straying too far from the Hindu worldview here. To unite with the universe is the greatest joy, the greatest achievement. How is this done? Through freedom from the prison of the mind and existence in the moment.

4. And For God's Sake, Enjoy Yourself

“Existence to me is a carnival, it is just a festival.”

Yes, there's a reason why Osho is the rich man and lover's Guru: it would be difficult to find a spiritual master more keen on allowing you to enjoy yourself. Enjoy your sexuality through love, enjoy your riches, take pleasure in who you are and what you are doing.

From what I hear, retreat sessions often include an hour or so of forced laughing.

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Osho Followers

“...everything I am saying is purposeless, as purposeless as the roses, as a bird on the wing, as the stars”

Okay, so I'm not going to be putting on red anytime soon, but I couldn't go through this buffet of Indian philosophy without taste-testing good ol' Osho. 

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Now, I have heard Osho called the "rich man's guru" many times in the past, but I always assumed it we because he didn't have a problem with rich people. Many contemporary religions, you see, somehow inversely socioeconomic standing with spiritual depth (what's that about a camel and the eye of a needle?).

I can't speak for when Osho himself was in charge, but these days, Osho followers have given "rich man's guru" a whole different meaning than the one I had construed. Out of curiosity, I called the Osho retreat center just outside of Dharamsala to find out about their prices. For a week, one must pay a minimum of $250, plus robes, etc. $250! This is the annual salary of a lot of Indians!

I tell her the secretary that I can't afford this, and ask her if I could volunteer at the retreat center to bring down the price. She makes a noise as if someone's jammed a pinecone in her nose, then pauses in a very full silence. "No."

The line goes dead.

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Here's a special treat for you: the most popular Osho teaching on Youtube. It's more or less a treatise on the use of the word f**k, so don't watch this one with the kids around. (If you get bored, skip to the second minute).